Baby, it's 3am, I must be lonely

A couple days ago, I went to the midnight premiere of the latest Harry Potter film. The AMC played the film in nine theaters, and they all sold out. But that's not what this post is about.

Because the movie was so long, when I left the theater, it was 3am. I had never been on the roads at that time, so I learned some new things about my neighbors/neighborhood.

Some quick background info: I live in a middle-class, suburban neighborhood, inhabited predominately by white families with younger kids. So when I even saw people on my drive home, you can bet I was surprised. I thought everyone would be asleep.

Driving down a dark street that isn't usually all that busy, I encountered the first sketchball. I didn't see him at first, but when I did, he scared the crap out of me. No, he wasn't misshapen or anything, but he was walking in the road, and I was afraid I was going to hit him. What was this guy doing? There was a sidewalk just a few steps over. I guess walking in the road at 3am isn't that weird*, but he wasn't just going for a stroll. He had his thumb out, and was hitchhiking. It was a somewhat small road in the middle of a subdivision, and it was the middle of the night! Even if it were daylight, I seriously doubt anyone would have picked him up. I mean, it's not like he had any Bud Light.



A few right turns later, I encoutered sketchballs 2 & 3. Actually, I encountered their car first. I drove up to a 4-way stop to see a car in front of me. It looked like it was turning right, as it was partway around the corner, but it had its hazard lights flashing. Confused, I slowly drove around it, peeking inside to see if there was anybody in it. Nope, it was empty. Did someone decide to ditch their car mid-turn? That question was soon answered, because as I rounded the corner, I saw a burned-out looking couple stumble out of a house a couple doors down from the stoplight. Enter, sketchballs 2 & 3. The guy was carrying a big red leather purse and was shirtless, and the girl had the most frazzled hair I've ever seen and wasn't wearing any shoes. Cute.

Finally, I turned onto my street, expecting I might encounter a fourth sketchball. But the coast was clear. I pulled into my driveway and climbed the stairs, ready to sleep (I had to wake up in 4 hours for work). But as soon as my head hit the pillow...I had the hiccups. It must've been karma for not giving sketchball 1 a ride.


*yes, it is weird